You are returning books to the stacks in Cairo, Egypt. You come across a book that is meant for the shelf next to you. Write 100 words while you think about how to get it to its proper place.
You want to save time, so you reach your arm out to the shelf beside you. It’s just barely out of reach and you really down want to get all the way down to reposition the ladder and climb up again. Sprint 50 words while you stretch your arm.
It was too far! Your ladder pulls away from the shelf. You readjust so you don’t fall- but now you are standing on stilts. You glance around, trying to figure out how to get out of this scrape. Roll a die and multiple that number by 100– that’s how many words you have to write while you try to find your balance.
In spite of your best efforts, the ladder slips, and you hit the shelf in front of you. The shelf falls, taking you with it. You stand in the middle of the room as each shelf dominoes into the next. Sprint for the next five minutes while you look around trying to figure out how to fix this one.
Your boss comes running into the room, angry at what just happened (you haven’t been able to touch a thing yet). He compares you to the plagues. Word war with someone for 5 minutes. If you win, then you convince him to keep you (and help clean). If you lose, Write another 100 words while you figure out how to pick those shelves back up.
You hear a muffled sound from the back display room. Inching your way in you grab a wall torch for light while you investigate. Write for five minutes. If you wrote under 400 words, your brother, Johnathon, pops out of a sarcophagus and scares you. If you wrote more than 400 words, you manage to scare him first. (If he scared you, write another 100 words while your heart rate goes back to normal).
Johnathon shows you the box he found. Write 500 words while you investigate it.
You touch a button and the box opens, revealing a key! Sprint for 10 minutes while you do some research and show it to your boss.
Your boss doesn’t believe you when you say that you think it’s a map to The Lost City of Hamunaptra. Write 200 words while you try to convince him.
It doesn’t matter how hard you try; your boss doesn’t believe you. And to top it off, he managed to burn off a corner of the map! It’s time to take matters into your own hands. Sprint for 5 minutes while you try to convince Johnathon to tell you how he actually found the puzzle box so you can investigate yourself.
Of course he stole it! It shouldn’t surprise you, not really. If it weren’t for the rumors of the Book of Amon Ra hidden in Hamunaptra, you’d just leave him to his own devices. But you can’t pass up this kind of adventure. Which is why you find yourself stepping inside the walls of Cairo Prison to meet the man he stole the box from. Leave it to Johnathon, he can’t do anything by halves. It has to be a prisoner. A scruffy buff one at that. Not only that, but he makes you do all the speaking. Fine, you can handle that. Write 300 words while you try to subtly as the stranger about the puzzle box you ‘found.’
This man, Rick O’Connell doesn’t beat around the bush. He immediately confronts you about what you found inside of it- the map to Hamunaptra. He swears he’s even been there. When you ask about the location he reaches through the bars and pulls you in for a rough kiss before demanding “Get me the hell out of here lady.” The guards hit him and drag him away. You frantically follow the warden, who lets you know the man is to be hanged. Sprint for 2 minutes while you chase him down.
As crude as he is, you need this man alive. You decide of reckless honesty when trying to convince the warden to spare his life. You confess he knows the way to the lost city. He doesn’t want to believe you, instead bartering for the man. Sprint for 15 minutes to find out what percentage the Warden will get:
0-249: He gets 70% and a date (ew)
250-499: He gets 60%
500-750: He gets 40%
751-999: He gets 20%
1,000+ words: He gets 10%
(If you hit 1,500 words, he gets nothing and you get to slap him in front of all the inmates)
A day later you are all packed and ready to begin your adventure, though you’d rather not meet that beastly American, Mr. O’Connell again. When he appears behind you, you are taken off guard. Traipse through 200 words while you try not to stare at how well he’s cleaned up. You need to go find your room, after all. Once you are done, groan inwardly when you see the Warden appear as well, though he wasn’t invited. Sprint through 100 words to get some distance between you and him.
That night you are reading a book in your room and trying to distract yourself from Mr. O’Connell when you catch sight of someone I your mirror. He demands to know where the map and the key are. You have no idea what the key is. He has a knife to your throat when your door splits open and O’Connell is there, guns blazing. Attempt a 50-Headed Hydra while O’Connell whisks you from the room and tosses you off the boat in his bold rescue attempt. If you successfully complete it, you make it easily to shore with your money bag in tow. If you don’t, you have to be carried to shore by Johnathon.
You are able to secure some new clothes, supplies and camels in a nearby village. You ride through the night in search of The Lost City, somehow managing to stay atop your camel even when you doze. The next morning you meet up with the Americans you had met who were also venturing to The Lost City, being led by a man that O’Connell seems to know but doesn’t really like. When the sun rises the City becomes visible. You charge forward, everyone racing to reach the City first. Sprint for 10 minutes to see if you win:
0-300: you come in dead last. Sprint for 2 more minutes to shake off your annoyance
301-699: You come in the middle of the pack, but luckily Rick won, so you were still on the winning team
700+: You won! Showing up all of those beastly Americans who don’t seem to think very highly of ladies.
900+ words: while you wait for everyone to catch up, you find an ancient coin partially buried in the sand. This coin can be used to skip any future challenge.
It is your first time in the crypts! You teach the men how to use the mirrors to light up the underground tunnels. When you hear a sound you follow it, unsure of what else is down there with you. Rounding a corner, your party comes face to face with the Americans. The two groups keep guns pointed at one another while they argue about who gets to dig where. Roll a die, and times that amount by 100 to find out how many words you need to write while you try convincing the men not to start shooting one another.
You decided to pick a new place to dig, leaving the Americans to their own devices. Johnathon quickly gets bored and starts playing golf with a pickax and rocks. One hits the rock ceiling, dislodging a sarcophagus hidden about you. Sprint for 5 minutes while you inspect your new find.
Well, the day went from bad to worse. The Warden died down in the tombs, though you aren’t sure what killed him. He wasn’t the healthiest man, after all. And while you can’t say you’ll miss him; he was one of your party. The Americans had even worse luck: several of their diggers struck a booby trap and were killed by a stream of pressurized salt acid. For now, you are going to try to relax in front of the campfire with your companions. Slide through 200 words while you attempt to relax for the night.
Peace doesn’t last long around here. Dark clad horsemen appear with long knives, their intent obviously hostile. Attempt a 50 headed hydra while you grab your own shotgun and chase O’Connell out into danger.
The fighting is extreme; even you manage to shoot a man charging straight for you with his knife gleaming in the moonlight. When things appear dire, you notice O’Connell in a one-on-one battle with the man who appears to be their leader. He’s holding out a lit stick of dynamite. Write to the nearest hundred words while you wait for the outcome of the standoff.
Sure enough, the leader of the men offered a dire warning that you must leave or die, but they did ride away, so you’ll mark this one as a win. Time to celebrate your successful brush with death. Head back to your campground and open that bottle Johnathon found in the Warden’s pack. Write 500 words while O’Connell teaches you to punch. You might not remember much of this in the morning, so enjoy it in the moment.
The next day you are surprised to find that you don’t even have a headache (yay). It is a good day of finding. You manage to open the sarcophagus you found yesterday. The mummy inside is…unexpected, to say the least. He’s still ‘juicy’ as your companions point out. It is clear that he was mummified while still alive. Pretty gruesome find. The Americans had better luck than you, dang it. They found a collection of canopic jars and- gasp- a book. Not just a book, but a book that very obviously needs the key you possess. Sprint for 5 minutes while you plot how to get that book from them.
You opt for a very Johnathon-style way; simply ‘borrowing’ it while the American is asleep. It’s the mythical Book of the Dead. You open it and read one of the pages, showing off your translation skills for O’Connell. After all, what harm ever came from reading a book, right? Write 200 words while you reconsider how wrong you must have been.
Locusts appear in the sky! Attempt a 50 headed hydra while you flee for the tombs to get away from the insects.
What is going on with these bugs? While in the tomb, hordes of flesh-eating scarabs climb out of a hole and start chasing you. Sprint for five minutes while you try to outrun them.
You’ve been separated from Johnathon and O’Connell- now what do you do? They jumped to the left, and you got stuck on the righthand side of the path when the scarabs ran through. Unfortunately for you, the stone wall you pressed against was a trap door. Because of course it was. Now you are lost in a new area of the tombs. Write 300 words while you carefully explore this new area.
One of the Americans is here, you aren’t alone! Except…except something is wrong with him. No, how is it possible? His eyes and tongue are gone. What could have done something like this? You hear a sound behind you- no, no, no, this couldn’t be real. The mummy- your mummy- he is standing there behind you, staring directly at you. You back into the stone wall while he begins to speak- actually speak! He calls you Anck-su-namun. Write to the nearest hundred while you try to figure out how to get out of this mess.
He found you! O’Connell appears from a tunnel to your left, so focused on you that he doesn’t even notice your new little mummy friend at first. When he finally sees him he shoots the creature and you all run for the entrance. You need to get out of this place now. But of course, it couldn’t be as easy as simply leaving. The black-clad men are there again. They let you pass, but not before they explain about the undead creature you just unleashed on the world. (great). Sprint for 10 minutes while you flee into the night, making your way back to the safety of Cairo.
Strange things are happening, even here in Cairo. O’Connell is ready to turn tail and run, but not you, nope. You woke this creature up, and you are determined to stop him. Besides, it’s starting to feel like the end of the world. Water is turning to blood, fireballs are falling from the sky: whatever you unleashed, it doesn’t appear like it will keep itself contained to the uninhabited desert. In fact, it appears the creature has followed you- after hearing a roar upstairs, you run up there just in time to see the injured American has been killed, and the creature: he’s standing right there, more skin and sinews filling on his body. Rick tries his usual trick: shooting the creature. But it doesn’t work this time. The creature thanks you for saving him from death, and then he does the unthinkable: he tries to kiss you. Write 100 words while you back into a corner to get away from him.
While backing up, a white cat jumps up on the piano across the room. The mummy turns his head fearfully in that direction before screeching and turning himself into dust. He spins out of the open window and is gone. What the heck was that all about? Write 400 words while you make your way to your workplace. If anyone has answers, you suspect it just might be your boss.
Walking into the building, you catch sight of your boss- and he’s talking to the black clad man who led the attacks against you in the desert. How is this possible? Sprint for 3 minutes while they try to explain themselves.
This story just gets stranger and stranger. They explain to you that they both belong to an ancient secret society intent on guarded the City of the Dead and stopping the High Priest Imhotep from being reborn. You also discover that he is driven by his love for the Princess Anck-Su-Namum. He is intent on raising her from the dead to stand by his side. And guess who his chosen human sacrifice will be? Sprint for 5 minutes to find out who the sacrifice will be.
250 and below: sorry, it’s you
250 and above: yea, it’s still you
An eclipse of the sun reminds you all that the creature’s powers are continually growing. You learn that he is on a mission to collect his canopic jars (and punish the men who took them). There are three Americans left who need to be protected. Two of them are right there with you, and the third (the Egyptologist) …well, he must be found right away. Rick (since you’re on first name basis now) locks you in a room and stick the two Americans as your guards while he and Johnathon go off in search of the Egyptologist. Write 300 words while you yell and scream, pulling at the door in an attempt to escape.
You wore yourself out in your escape attempts, finally settling in and falling asleep in the overly plush bed. You wake with a start to the feel of something on your mouth. You open your eyes to see the Imhotep crouched over you, his lips (what’s left of them- ew) pressed against your own. You try to pull away, but he’s stronger than you. Luckily, the door bursts open- Rick and Johnathon are there with the cute little kitty in tow. Sure enough, the Mummy of your nightmares does exactly what he did before: turns himself to sand and flies out the window. This place isn’t safe, Sprint for 6 minutes while you get in the car and drive back to your workplace.
There really isn’t a good way to say this: you’re losing. Pretty bad, actually. Only one of the Americans is still alive, all the others are dead. You have to end this soon, otherwise the world as you know it is gone. You get a great idea: you need to find the other book, the golden book- it’s the opposite of the book that brought him to life, so you reason that it must have a way to send this creature back to the underworld. But where to find it? Sprint for 400 words while you translate a stone slab that will reveal the location of the book of Amun Ra.
Can’t anything go right in this place? While you are working on your translation (patience is a virtue, and these are not ideal working conditions), you hear chanting outside. Looking through the window, you see the next plague approaching. A crowd of men covered in boils and sores are slowly walking towards the building. They’re carrying torches and chanting ‘Imhotep’ over and over again. They’re acting a bit like zombies, because why not? They’re under his control and you are in big trouble. Write to the nearest 100 words while you rush through your translation.
It’s in Hamunaptra, inside the statue of Horace! You did it, you found it! No time to celebrate though, Imhotep and his zombie-followers are banging on the door trying to get inside. It’s time to go. Johnathon gets the car started. You make it to the vehicle just as the crowd is closing in. Sprint as fast as you can for 3 minutes while you attempt to flee through the dark city streets.
In your hasty bid for freedom, the last American was pulled from the car. You know he’s dead, that Imhotep has reached his full potential. You crashed and tried to run, but it’s too late. You’ve all been cornered by the group; your backs are literally to the wall. Imhotep approaches, speaking directly to you. He offers you a deal: if you come with him, he will spare your friends. You tell him you’ll go. Write 200 words while you hastily explain your plan to Rick.
Rick doesn’t want you to go. He knows you face death if you leave with that thing. But you know it’s the only way to secure everyone’s safety. You don’t have a choice. You quickly whisper to Rick what you’ve come up with. It’s not much of a plan, but it’s something. You know the ritual will have to take place as Hamunaptra. You also know that the Book of Amun Ra is hidden there as well. They need to get to Hamunaptra, get the book and save the world. Plus, you- they definitely need to save you too. You warn Rick that if you get turned into a mummy, you’ll be coming for him first. And then you go. As you walk away you hear the creature shout to his followers to kill them. Sprint for 6 minutes while you try to fight your way back to your friends.
You are engulfed in a whirlwind of sand and feel your body getting tossed about. When the wind subsides, you peek your eyes open. How could it be? You are back at Hamunaptra- he must have transported you in that strange way of his. How long had it taken? The sun is out now, but last you remember it was dark outside. What happened to your friends? Write to the nearest hundred words while you try to puzzle out what is happening.
A small plane appears on the horizon, headed right for you. You grin, knowing exactly who it is. They lived, they’re coming, they’re going to save you. But you aren’t the only one to notice them. Imhotep shuts his eyes and a sandstorm with a human face rises into the air, chasing after the small plane. You see the pop of gunfire as the plane attempts to defend itself, but the bullets are useless against a sand cloud. Imhotep is going to kill them. You have to help; you have to save them. But what can you do? Sprint for 2 minutes while you build up the nerve to do what needs to be done.
You kiss him. Yep, voluntarily- you grab him by the head and smash his lips against your own. Roll a die to see how long you have to make the kiss last.
1: 250 words
2: 500 words
3: 750 words
4: 1,000 words
5: 1,250 words
6: 1,500 words
Ugh, you did it and it actually worked. Imhotep was immediately distracted as he focused on you. The sandstorm fell to the ground. You turn around victorious- only to see the little plane fall from the sky anyway. It crashed behind a distant dune, sending up a plume of sand with the impact. Imhotep smiles with his victory and pulls you along with him back into the cursed city. Write 500 words as you try to rally your hope. (Write an additional 250 words if you think it would be fun to threaten Benny, Imhotep’s little worm of an assistant, while you are walking through the catacombs).
You are led into a ritual chamber. Imhotep turns to a large stone wall filled with inscriptions and carvings of priests. He recites a phrase, and the priests pull themselves from the wall. They hadn’t been carvings after all, they had been mummies embedded directly into the stone. More of these abominations claw their way out of the ground. Imhotep has resurrected his followers. He orders them to go kill the others. Kill the others? Did that mean they survived the plane crash? Sprint for 2 minutes as your hope rekindles.
You don’t know what happened, you must have been knocked out. You wake chained to a dais. There is a rat climbing across your stomach. You screech and turn to your side to push it off- only to come face to face with the dried mummified remains of a woman. Anck-Su-Namun, you know immediately. Oh no, no, no- where are Rick and Johnathon? Are they still alive? You are brought back to the present moment as the mummified priests surround you. Imhotep approaches, carrying the Book of the Dead. He stares down at the body beside you before he begins to turn the stone pages. You can’t help it, you start screaming for help. Time is running out. Sprint for one minute. The number of words you write is the number of words you’re able to yell out for Johnathon and Rick to hear.
The priests surrounding you all begin to chant. You catch a glimpse of the pool (had you realized there was a pool) on the far side of the chamber. There is dark watery-cloud roiling to the surface. It floats towards you, propelled by who-knows-what. The spirit of Anck-Su-Namun is searching for her former body. It takes the shape of a beautiful young woman before it sinks gently into the mummified remains beside you. She sucks in a painful breath as you scream. This is it, by the gods, this is it. You are definitely haunting Rick after this one. You are forced to lay there, helpless, as Imhotep raises a large golden blade in the air above you, ready to stab down and complete the ritual. With your death, his love shall live. He will be invincible. Sprint for 2 minutes while you curse Johnathon and Rick.
Johnathon shouts from the top of the stone steps above you that he found it, he found the book. He’s running with a golden slab cradled in his arms. You yell instructions to him as Imhotep turns in his direction. He knows the dangers of this book and will stop at nothing to retrieve it. Unlock the book, read the inscription: that’s all he needed to do. Write 300 words while you try not to imagine all the ways this plan could go awry.
You continue to pull at your restraint; you can’t do much here strapped to this slab, you’re a sitting duck. You duck your head down when a shape shoots across your vision: Rick jumps across the slab of stone, arcing a sword below him. You feel a tug as the right side breaks free, releasing one of your hands. The other remains stubbornly in place. The priests haven’t gone far, Rick is distracted trying to fight them off, being tugged to the ground. Write to the nearest thousand words while you wait for your rescuer to get off the dang floor.
Finally, he’s destroyed the collection of priests that had stood sentinel over you. Hurrying over he releases your left hand. From the distant corner of the chamber you hear Johnathon’s voice ring out as he recites an inscription he must have found in the book. More mummies appear, these one carrying hooked spears. The Pharaoh’s guards, they must be. And based on the smile stretching across Imhotep’s face: this isn’t going to be good for you. You and Rick are separated by the new combatants entering the room. Anck-Su-Namum charges from behind, chasing you into a maze of low stone walls. Attempt a 50 headed hydra as you try to outrun your pursuer.
Johnathon needs to finish the inscription so that he can control the Pharoah’s soldiers. You don’t know how you know it, but it feels true. You shout out the instructions as you dodge another attack from the undead princess. Sprint for 10 minutes while you wait for Johnathon to finish deciphering the hieroglyphics.
Johnathon just can’t seem to sort it out on his own. He describes the last symbol that he can’t place. You immediately know the answer. You take a deep breath to shout out the answer- when you feel dry bones clamp around your throat. Anck-Su-Namun found you. She holds the long blade in one hand while she attempts to keep you still. She’s going to finish what Imhotep had started. Sprint for 5 minutes while you try to call out the answer.
0-150 words: Not even the Princess could hear you, write 100 more words in an attempt to raise your voice
151-300: A little bit quiet, but it probably carried far enough for Johnathon to hear. Sprint another 50 words if you want to be sure.
301-499: Yes! Loud and clear, good work!
500+: They heard you all the way in Cairo.
Johnathon yells out the last of the inscription. Just in time too, they had just cornered Rick, blades pressed against his skin. The guards stand at attention, waiting for new orders. Johnathon doesn’t hesitate before shouting at them to kill Anck-Su-Namun. You stand numbly by as they approach, cornering your adversary. You hear Imhotep scream as the blades plunge into her body. Write 400 words as you sneak over to Johnathon.
Johnathon is going to need your help finding the right inscription. You rush to his side as Rick turns towards Imhotep, buying you the time you need to search the book. You can’t help but glance up to see the fight as you frantically search. You have to hurry, Rick is losing. Write to the end of the page you are on as you rush to find the incantation.
You found it! “Kadeesh-man, Kadeesh-mal, Parod oos, Parod oos,” you scream out the words. A ghostly blue chariot rises from the pool of dark water and charges toward Imhotep. It strips the soul from him. He chases his ghostly self for a few steps before the chariot disappears through the stone wall. Imhotep turns in your direction, mouth set in a defiant line. Rick stands in front of you, guarding you from the enemy. “I though you said this was going to kill him,” he half-whispers as the Priest charges toward you. Write 200 words as you stand your ground behind Rick.
“He’s mortal now,” you reply simply as Imhotep gets within arm’s length. Rick held his blade out in front of him. It slid easily into Imhotep’s abdomen. The newly mortal man stares down, surprise etched on his face. Perhaps even he didn’t know he had been turned mortal. He falters backward, holding his bleeding injury. He steps backwards into the dark pool, turning back into the decomposed mummy he once was. His final words ring through the air before he sinks below the surface, “Death is only the beginning.” Write 500 words as you celebrate the fact that you are all still alive.
Just when you thought it was over- you don’t get to celebrate for long when you hear creaking stones. Looking up you have to blink to make sure this is real: the ceiling is slowly rolling down. Sand begins to cascade around you as the dimensions of the room shift. There must have been a trap. You have to leave now or you’ll be stuck down here forever. Attempt a 50 headed hydra as you run for the entrance. If you don’t succeed, write 100 additional words to push yourself those last few feet out the door.
You charge through the treasure room, slipping through the main entrance just as the stone slab closes on the interior forever. Rushing onward you make it out into the scorching sunshine. You don’t stop, as the pillars and rock walls begin collapsing around you. The city is collapsing into the sand from which it was raised. You aim for the camels a fair distance away. Sprint for 5 minutes as you make your way to safety.
You watch as the last of the city collapses into a puff of sand before sinking below the dunes. It’s gone. The lost city of the dead will be lost to history once again. You turn to Rick, locking eyes. You aren’t sure if it will be awkward or not, now that the danger as passed. He leans down and kisses you before you climb up on a camel with him. Johnathon bemoans the lost treasure as you ride off into the sunset, completely unaware that the saddle bags hanging off the camels are filled to bursting with golden treasures. Celebrate your victory with your choice of word count. Don’t want to pick? Roll a die and multiply by 7.
Tipsy Typer 