On Thursday Pottermore made yet another dream of mine come true by giving us The Patronus Test. I think it goes without saying, that my inner geek was bouncing with excited delight, clapping her hands in pure rapture before pushing her glasses back up on her nose, wrapping herself in her Hogwarts scarf and settling in to answer some life-altering questions. The terrifying thing for me: you can only do this quiz once. There are no re-takes (unless you use another e-mail address to set up a whole new account). Your answers are final, your decision is set in stone and you must live with the creature you have summons.
So I gravely answered my questions like my literary life depended on it. And internally shouted the magical words before my creature flitted onto the screen:
EXPECTO PATRONUM!
I say ‘flitted’ because that’s exactly what it did. That’s right my friends, try not to gape in pure awe when you find out that I got…
A dragonfly. When one of the darkest and foulest creatures of the magical world comes to suck my soul out of my body, leaving me an empty shell full of only painful memory- I get an insect to protect me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against the winged little creatures; quite the contrary in fact, I do adore them. I even named my laptop Sparx after the little dragonfly companion that never leaves Spyro’s side (if you don’t know Spyro, well, then you must not have had a PlayStation in the early 2000’s- for shame, go find one and catch up). Like I said, I don’t have anything against dragonflies specifically, but something gives me the distinct impression that I would not last long in the wizarding world.
Naturally, me being the person that I am- I had to look up the meaning of my patronus. There had to be a reason why this little guy was going to be my sworn protector instead of, oh I don’t know, an actual dragon. This is what I found:
So I am passionate, joyful and have a hidden inner life…okay, I can roll with that. Which brings me to my next question: when fighting a dementor is it more important to have a ‘powerful’ creature, or a ‘happy creature’ because if happy is what we are looking for, then everyone get behind my little dragonfly- we are safe from the hordes of the cloak-wearing wraiths. But if we need to intimidate…well- does anyone have something a wee bit more intense- like an otter? It wont take much to outdo me on this point.
I’m actually not too disappointed in my cute little companion. I’m just going to make sure I stay in the company of some tougher characters- anyone out there with a wolf? Or- oh- a hippogriff? Because I would love to be the Neville to your Harry Potter.
How did you fare, my friends? Leave me a comment with your little (or big) protector and what you think about it, or meet me at the Leaky Cauldron and we can talk over a couple of butter beers (something I still need to attempt to make at home). Funny- even at 27, I still can’t get enough of my favorite fictional world.
Tipsy Typer 