writing – Page 4 – Tipsy Typer

She drowned in the moonlight and was strangled by her own bra (a tribute to the princess who taught me how cool it was to be a nerd)

I like to tell people that I was a nerd before nerdisms were cool. I had the glasses before they were ironically chic. I scaled my own mountain of books, I carried the love of fictional realities, a knowledge of Star Wars and astronomy. I adored history, I checked out so many books with each trip to the library I could barely see over the pile as I carried them to my mom’s car. I played with my microscope far more than an other little girl I knew (in fact, I was the only little girl I knew who owned one- stolen from my older brothers and jealously guarded lest they ask for its return. Lucky for me, their interests turned more to the automotive side rather than observable science). I even went so far as to do ‘math puzzles’ for fun (something I still find ironic because I grew into a woman who still cringes at the thought of even the simplest math without a calculator- I still subtly use my fingers to count out a tip at a restaurant). I knew I was a bit of an odd little duck, and yet, I always had a pressing desire to fit in. So I did what every self-conscious young girl does; I hid the pieces of myself I thought others wouldn’t understand. It can be a lonely existence when you closet away your deepest obsessions out of what amounts to simple insecurity as a child. I’ve always been odd, but it took me awkward year upon awkward year to embrace it as I discovered other like-minded indivdiauals who carried their passions like a badge of honor, an invitation to others who shared that love.

Growing up and leaving high school, I met more diverse people than my small town had to offer. Suddenly I found people I could have interesting and different conversations with. One of the first things I found I could bond with my new ‘nerdy’ friends over was none other than the epitome of geek culture: Star Wars. I own every movie (with special features), though it’s been, admittedly, a long time since I have watched some of the originals. My friends carry their storm trooper tattoos on their arms with pride as we all tromp into comicon together. Star Wars was a jumping off point for me, a doorway into a world of acceptance that I deeply craved when I was growing up. Filled with intriguing characters and a rich storyline, it also brought new fodder to my always active imagination. And right there, in the center of it all was a young actress named Carrie Fisher.

It is always a sad day when the heroes of our past prove to be mere mortals. Hearing of her death felt like a punch to the stomach this morning. When she had her heart attack on Friday, I was convinced that she would be okay. After all, she had spent her life being a fighter. Nothing was going to get her down. No, she was far too tough for this life, something so simple would not be the end of such a strong, charismatic woman. And yet, I could not run from the truth for long.

I’ve read some of her books in the past, in fact, I fell in love with the quirky attitude in ‘Wishful Drinking’ only a month ago and couldn’t stop talking about it. I listened to the audiobook and couldn’t get enough of the hilarious delivery and energy that she threw into her work. She was not just an actress; she was a fellow writer, an odd duck, a woman who was unafraid to share her experiences if it would assist someone else from following her troubled road. She spoke of difficult topics with a self-depreciating candor and vital humor that allowed room for more open conversations about topics that were sadly swept under the rug for far too long. She was who she was, a princess of the stars in more ways than one. And she never apologized for that. She owned who she was with a bravery that I am still learning to find within myself.

What hurts with her death is the feeling of camaraderie I felt towards a woman I have never met (well, apart from sneak peeks at a comicon, but that doesn’t count). She was undoubtedly an odd little ducky; and yet, that is exactly what drew me to her. Because I am an odd little duck too, a duckling that spent far too long trying to find her way. She inspired me to embrace who I am with humor and dignity, to smile at the people who don’t understand the type of person I am, without feeling like there is something inherently wrong with me. She taught me to have open conversations about difficult topics with people who have a new perspective to offer me. She taught me to have compassion for others as well as myself. I was, perhaps, more of a fan of her words, rather than her acting (though that was also inspiring); but it was her truth that she shared without apology that genuinely intrigued me. She embraced who she was and reminded me that is okay for me to do the same.

So tonight I send this tribute to a woman who I never knew, but who had an impact on me nonetheless. This is for the princess who showed us all the stars. This is for the woman who proudly proclaimed who she was to the world and never asked for forgiveness. This is for the woman who showed us the true power found in humor and honesty. This is for the actress who helped inspire a cult following; one who helped me find others who carried a freak flag that looked just like mine. This is for the woman who built cultural bridges that we all can cross if we are willing to open outselves to the passion of the experience. This is for the woman who reminds me of the little girl I was, secretly playing with microscopes and staring at the stars.

May you find the peace that you so deserved in life. May you find comfort in knowing that you have made a difference; we all mourn our mutual loss tonight, though for many different reasons. Thank you for the lessons you imparted, for the brave and open way you fought your most personal fight. Thank you for all that you gave the world, it is a better place because of your presence. Thank you for the laughter, for the insight, and most of all, for the courage to be completely true to oneself.

Too Much of a Good Thing (remembering who I have become)

Have you ever watched the movie ‘Matilda,’ you know, 90s classic that was a staple for me growing up. Oh how I always wanted to be like her; reading the entire library, able to move things with my mind and bubbling over with adorable charm. Yes, that was the dream- minus the horrors of Ms. Trunchbull. We could all do without that little gem in our lives.

As it turns out, lately I have been a lot more like Bruce Bogtrotter than Matilda. He was the infamous cholocate cake boy (who incidentally grew into a pretty handsome man, only proving my theory that cake is a the most amazing human invention and can fix anything in your life).

Now- what do I mean when I say that I’ve been Bruce Bogtrotter? Well, remember how all he really wanted was some chocolate cake, and he just couldn’t resist so he stole a piece from the grinchy principal? His punishment after that sounded amazing: to eat an entire chocolate cake all on his own. Yes, it was a dream come true- until it wasn’t. As it turns out, too much of a good thing (even with something as glorious as chocolate), can still hurt you. The key has always been balance; something I am continually working on. After Nano ended I decided that I was going to give myself a little break, I reasoned that I had earned it- I hit my crazy big goal in November, and honestly, I was a bit tired. I craved the free time I never had, I desired that freedom the same way Bruce craved that cake. I simply couldn’t resist, though I knew the dangers of falling back into my old ways. So I opted to take time and relax, read my books, ease off of my writing projects and just give myself a bit of a break. Which was wonderful. Until it wasn’t.

All work and no play makes Katie a dull girl, and conversely, all play and no work makes Katie fall asleep far too early and lose her pizzazz. I loved the first week or so, well, actually, I still love it- it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to sit and read my books guilt-free without the constant nagging in the back of my mind on what I should be doing. So I read, and when I got burnt out on my current paperback, I started poking around online. A lot. And, as usual, the holiday season is a busy one for me- with ugly sweater parties, Christmas tree train rides, holiday plays, gingerbread houses, a first attempt at a wine tasting, family frivolity and friendly festivities. But as it turns out, a lot of other things fell by the wayside as I spent more and more time indulging myself. This blog even- it started to fade into a late night afterthought, a tinge of guilt, but no real desire to sit down and work. One of my projects has been languishing, neglected and alone on my laptop. Even my laundry has been a mountain that has flooded over the top of its hamper, continually threatening to topple on the unsuspecting cat who only wants to play with the dangling sleeves of my sweaters.

And you know what happened? It stopped being fun. All of this extra time I had on my hands- it was a waste. I was standing still when I have spent the past year pushing so hard to inch forward, one toe at a time. It felt like I was losing all of the ground I had fought for. To suddenly find yourself languishing, and knowing it was all your own doing- it kind of sucks. It’s like sitting in the bathtub until the bubbles are gone and the water is cold, you’ve overstayed your welcome and the relaxation turns into anxiety. I found myself killing time that was once such a precious commodity to me- by mindlessly scrolling through the interwebs, checking my Facebook way more than I should, and even finding myself so bored at night that I was falling asleep early, kindle still propped on my lap. There was no stimulation, no motivation, no fire burning me up from the inside and sparking life into my soul. I had become dull and faded without my inspiration to guide me. I had become the girl I was once upon a time when I would dream without doing and wonder why my life wasn’t changing.

Much like the chocolate cake; when you eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, it loses its appeal and pretty soon you find yourself craving an apple. You have to indulge yourself occasionally with a piece, but knowing it is a special treat makes it all the sweeter. That’s the balance I have to remember, I need to learn to teeter when I want to totter.

I don’t know who I am when I’m not writing, I lose my focus and start to feel like my very identity is slipping, I feel like a shadow of the myself. I have spent so much time this year working my tail feathers to the bare nubbins. And in spite of the dedication and laser focus it has required- it’s felt amazing knowing that I am doing something for myself, that I am taking steps towards a dream I have always had. So treading water- it doesn’t feel as good anymore. When I know what I am capable of, it hurts to do anything less. I feel like I’m wilting.

And so, here I am, frustrated with complacency and ready to strike back. It’s been fun, but I am sick of my holding pattern. So here we are my friends- Tipsy is back and ready to take a shot (I meant that in the dukes up, fight for myself kind of way- you know- hit me with your best shot; not shot of alcohol way, though technically that probably works too).

It’s time to come back to my new life, the one I fought so hard for. And now I can find comfort in knowing that I don’t think I am capable of slipping back into that girl I had once been- the one so full of unrealized dreams. Because I just tried, and though I did wilt for a time, I find myself blooming again. I can emphatically say: I am not that girl anymore. I am stronger than her, and damn it, I will keep on fighting for what I want. Because it’s the only thing that leaves me fulfilled and satisfied at the end of the day. Cheers, my friends, it feels good to be back. I’ve missed you. And perhaps I’ve missed me a bit too.

Nano Adventure Comes to a Close (raise your glass)

It seems strange to think that we set out on our daring adventure just 30 days ago. And yet here we are, standing at the final stage on our figurative journey. The foes have been met and the dragons slain (or tamed, if you hold pro-dragon beliefs). We are battered and weary as allegories and alliterations dance through our tired minds, sped on by the hyperboles of our rhetoric. Whether you reached that goal or not- we have done this crazy thing, and come out on the other side. We are haggard, but we still stand.

This past month has been a whirlwind. And yet, after the dust has settled, and all has been said or done; I must admit, it has been a truly beautiful chaos we have found ourselves in. Life does not wait for us to finish that last paragraph or discover that awaiting plot bunny, no, it goes on no matter what crazy goals we have set for ourselves. Thanksgiving brought with it family fun and visits with old friends who have moved farther away than I’d like. There have been roadblocks and pitfalls (and I am still not over the horribly-awful-no-good-very-bad defeat of my Cougars at the Apple Cup this year. Luckily, my Husky friends were kind and didn’t run it in too bad.) And I am also a tad disappointed with my loss during our Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. Next year I will bring bribes for all voting participants. I’m just saying- I brought out Carlton! You know- ‘now this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down…’ (you know you sang that to the tune- and probably finished the next few lines). Who would have known that I would get Trumped in the end? (Pun very much intended: I lost to Trump and a reindeer yard ornament that was safety pinned to a sweater- they tied. I can only hope that my step-dad was truthful when his shirt promised to make Christmas great again).

My computer problems persisted (it still does not like the internet), however, it did miraculously decide to reconnect to the internet right after I managed to hit my goal- so I swooped in and validated: thank you computer gods who had mercy on me. I owe you some peppermint hot chocolate…or whatever it is you enjoy- perhaps some 001010110 scarves.

So, this Nano I decided to try AGAIN at doing something completely and totally insane. I made a goal that I have attempted to reach every year (and every time, I have failed miserably). My goal: 100,000 words in one month. That’s right, I was one of those masochistic psychos that decided to attempt a double Nano this holiday season. I know what you are thinking, why put yourself through that writerly agony when you could instead be eating mounds of pumpkin pie completey ensconced in entire containers of whipped cream? Well let me tell you something: I am nothing if not a multi-tasker. Type with one hand and hold the fork in the other. Boom! Problem solved. (Word of advice, do not forget about the fork unless you think your laptop would look good with a pumpkin coat).

I don’t know what was different this year; I was just as busy as I typically am, life was filled with the normal drama and surprises. But I was determined. I jump in head first and just hoped that I could learn to fly. Sometimes all you really need is blind and reckless faith to force you out on that ledge. But you know what? All of the best stories start right there, with your toes poking over the edge.

This year it just felt right. I was hell bent, I was frazzled, but I was finding my muse and the motivation to dance with her. And so I clickity clacked well past my bedtime. When I wanted to watch my show, I waited to hit my daily goal before turning it on. I jumped way ahead of the curve, I fell behind, and ultimately, I rallied.

And you know what happened? I did it. That’s right, I actually met my crazy goal, not only that: I surpassed it. It was reach for the stars, over the moon World Series kind of stuff. I will proclaim it proudly: I wrote over 100,000 words in 30 days.

But you know what? It took me years to get to that point. It took a perfect aligning of inspiration and circumstances to allow me to even have a shot. And I honestly don’t know if I will ever be able to do it again. I can’t tell you that what I wrote was gold- because I was a tad delirious through half of it, and I am sure that the editing gods will smite me with their well-worded wrath. But for me, this year, that was not the point. This year I wanted to prove to myself that I could push past all logical endurance and achieve something that felt impossible. I wanted to remind myself that these crazy dreams of mine might not be as far-fetched as they have always felt. If I could accomplish this, well then, perhaps I can take another step and reach for something else. Maybe I’ll finally start sharing my work with my loved ones, or find the internal validation that I need to finish editing a project and step out in search of an agent. This year I was searching for my grit. And I found it.

We have fought a hard battle my friends, and I am so incredibly proud of all of us- I have been keeping up with the nano blogs, the message boards, the Facebook groups. Look at all we managed to accomplish- whether we hit our goals or not, we stepped out there, pen raised in the air and screamed our challenge to the blank page. Having the courage to even take that step is inspiring. And knowing that so many other people joined me on that front line makes me feel a little bit less alone in this wide world of ours.

So tonight, I raise my glass to you: cheers, my friends, there is no one I would have rather shared this adventure with. Thank you for keeping me inspired. Thank you for giving me the reason to keep on pushing and hit my goals. Because this year, that was the real difference: having this blog and all of you to keep me responsible. Thank you for helping my make my little dream a possibility.
And so, without any further ado, and for the last time this Nano season, let’s take a look at the final numbers:

Word Count: 113,269 out of 100,000

Percentage of Goal Complete: 113%

Current Mood on Project: you know how on Fridays your are happy and exhausted all at the same time? That’s how I feel. So happy I did this, and yet also simultaneously thrilled that I am done and can bury my nose in a few neglected books for the next week or two

Rushing Through Halftime: Nano Update #3

We have officially passed the day 15 mile marker and have started the Nano descent; love it or hate it, we are now sledding down the mountain to our inevitable conclusions. And of course: what a week it has been!

Truthfully, my week didn’t start out all that strong on the writing front. I was caught up in some good books I was reading (and listening to on audibles), and was stealing spare minutes to page through to the next chapter. One of them was equal amounts fascinating and disturbing. ‘This is Your Brain on Parasites’ will not only educate you, but convince you that you have little critters in your brain controlling your movements like a robot. It will also teach you that your cat is an evil mastermind. And washing your hands is vitally important. In spite of the fear enduring moments, I loved it nonetheless, and would recommend it to anyone interested in finding some good fodder for a sci-fi thriller or zombie novel (if you are working on the latter, you also have to give ‘Do Zombies Dream of Undead Sheep’ a shot).

On Friday morning I almost caught my hair on fire. Okay, that might be a tad dramatic, but my hairdryer did start changing it’s speed and then smelled strongly like burning plastic. I opted to risk getting a cold and ran out of the house with sopping wet, stringy hair because I was terrified my little drier would explode in my face. I also left it in the sink far away from any flammibles just in case spontaneous combustion decided to become a thing in my house while I was at work. Good news: it did not.

A weekend dentist appointment (I know, I’m a glutton for punishment apparently) left me with a deep appreciation for things that I generally take for granted. First: whoever created localized anesthetics was an amazing human being and I owe them an immense gratitide for all that they did in the name of pain management. Based on the sounds I heard coming from my gaping mouth, it’s a good thing I was so numb I could barely blink my own eye. I walked out of that office feeling like two-face from Batman- the entire right side was totally numb and unmanageable. I attempted to act like a normal human being while walking through Target (on a mission to replace my aforementioned hairdryer) though I suspect they noticed something was a tad off when I kept running my hand over my mouth to see if I was smiling with both sides. I also rediscovered the importance that I put on the spoken word in my daily life. How, you ask? Well, when your tongue is numbly rolling around in your mouth like a water wiggle, it takes a concentrated effort not to lisp or bite it. Repeatedly. In situations like that, silence is truly golden.

Last night was also a bit of an adventure: started out by going out to a rare little date night to see ‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.’ Word of advice: get up right now, find the nearest showing and go see it. Feel free to take my advice with a grain of salt- I am a hardcore Harry Potter fan and love anything and everything about that world. But nonetheless- still see it. It’s cute, it’s fun, the settings are gorgeous and the actors did a phenomenal job adding memorable quirks to their characters. I loved it.

On the way home, however, the real adventure began. It was only about 9:30 at night when we say a car almost hit another while changing lanes in front of us. The offending vehicle veered away before things went south. I thought that would be the end of it- it happens to all of us, I’ve been guilty of those mistakes myself. But then the weaving started- back and forth across two lanes of highway traffic right in front of us. At one point he was driving right in the middle, straddling the line between the lanes. And then he started tailgating an older woman in her car. So I did something I have never done before: I called the police. We kept an eye on him until our exit. I don’t know what wound up happening. He looked really young, too young. I can just hope that nothing happened after we lost sight of him.

Needless to say, it was a relatively eventful week. My writing, however, was starting to suffer; perhaps ‘starting’ is the wrong word- my writing was continuing to suffer. The week two slump hit me hard. And I used my week one progress as an excuse to relax, to do other things, to let my project languish. In fact, I spent a good portion of this past week behind schedule. I had lost all of the lead that I had gained in the first few days on Nano. I had been halfway through my goal before week one was out- a huge lead; I lost all of that.

But then, this weekend; I rallied. Yes, in the midst of my regularly scheduled life, an amazing thing happen: the muse decided to grace me with her presence again, that fickle little fairy that she is. I had been burnt out- it always happens to me in week two of Nano, I hit a slump and fell face first into a literary rut. Climbing back out feels amazing. I didn’t add as many words as I had originally wanted to over the weekend, but I have the drive to push forward. Last night when we got home I even went straight back to my laptop and started tapping away. I finally had to force myself to put my work away and go to bed at 11:30 (this is late for me).

I’m trying to run with this for as long as it holds out, because that muse does not tend to stick around long. I’m not moving as fast, but I would like to think that I’m getting out higher quality content. At the very least, I’m working through some stronger ideas and plot points than I had originally figured out. So I’m running with it.

I feel like I’m really going to do it this time, if I can just keep up my momentum and keep the work going steady. I’m afraid to get too excited though; I’ve stumbled at the finish line before. I have had years where I made it up into the 80k range and then fell off the cliff when I tried to fly. The key is to focus on one day at a time and not get too far ahead of myself.

So let’s peek at the numbers and see how it’s going:

Word Count: 81,721 out of 100,000

Percentage of Goal Complete: 81%

Current Mood on Project: feeling like I just drank a Monster energy drink and I’m ready to rock the keyboard (or cry trying)

Still Surviving: Nano Update, Week Two

Wow, my friends, what a test this last week has been! And yet, we have all survived- perhaps a bit haggard, a tad battle worn; but we are still standing tall. Don’t worry, I won’t be delving into anything political, today we are going to keep things light because I think that’s exactly what we need. That being said, when I wrote my update one week ago, I truly thought that the election madness was nearly at an end. This just goes to show that I always jinx it. I’ve been a bag of mixed emotions lately, but I am getting back into my groove because that’s what will be best for me right now.

So, my first week had gone better than I could have imagined. Going into week two, I knew that I was not going to be able to keep that momentum up. I was okay with that. For starters, I was sick, and didn’t really kick the crud until Friday. Tuesday, naturally, was a lost writing day for me, given the historic implications of the day, I think that can be forgiven. And I will be honest, like a car wreck, I have been unable to look away from the news since then. It’s bad for me, I know this And I’m starting to think I’m a bit addicted to my social media- the best cure: focus on my writing, and when I want to look on my phone, I have to open my kindle app and read a little bit of my book instead.

Saturday was pretty awesome though- we spent a ton of time in the car, but we were able to drive down to the coast for an early Thanksgiving with my extended family. I always forget how much I miss them until I’m around them. We got there just in time to join them for a delicious dinner, and after that we went with my aunt and cousins to take all of their kids out onto the beach for a walk. I missed them- just talking, laughing. They’re great people who I really need to start breaking out of my box and making more time for. I had a blast, and realizing that my cousins brought water bottles of mimosas on our walk just reminded me that these ladies are my spirit animals. After that, we had a long drive back home- but it was lit by a big bright moon the whole way. It was gorgeous. All in all, a successful day, even if there was no writing involved.

I have hit one little snag that has me a bit worried though. You see, every nano I run into some kind of technical difficulty. For the first few years, back when Link was just a puppy, I had a slew of years where he would attempt electroshock treatments and chew through all of my charging cables. Repeatedly. Lucky for me, this is a phase he has finally grown out of. But this year, my laptop decided to make its own political statement. Apparently it is sick of the state of current events and it has cut off all communication with the outside world until further notice. Even my fiancé- who is a master in computers- wasn’t able to get it to change its mind. Hence why you may have noticed a slight downfall in my number of posts this past week. I am currently typing this out on my phone, which, needless to say, isnt particularly ideal. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. My laptop isn’t that old, but I can’t do the things that i have to do if it won’t connect to the internet. It makes this blog difficult. And I have no idea how I will be able to validate my nano if I can’t get my words copied to the website. But I am not going to panic yet. Nope, one more week in willful ignorance will not kill me. I can be in denial until the panic attack hits.

So, on to the writing: the real purpose of this post. I didn’t really get a lot of writing done until yesterday. I finally sat down for a few hours last night and was able to crank out a few thousand words. I tapped into the myriad of emotions I’ve been feeling this week, and it flowed like wine. And I hit a pretty momentous goal. I made it to 50k yesterday, which means that I am still on track to get my illusive 100k this year. I am thrilled! But, honestly, I’m also a bit terrified. This is the first time my goal has really felt tangible. And I am so scared that I will flop in these coming weeks and mess it up. It wouldn’t be the first time. I fizzle and pop. I am so scared that I will ruin the advantage I was able to give myself. I’m trying to keep the anxiety away and let myself just enjoy the fact that I’m still hanging in there, but those moments of doubt always find their way back in.

So, without further ado, my goal update, by the numbers:

Word Count: 57,649 out of 100,000

Percentage of Goal Complete: 57%

Current Mood on Project: Starting to wear out, but still smiling

I love jury duty (and why you should to)

I love jury duty. Now, let me qualify that statement by saying: I love jury duty when I am not the juror…or the bailiff. I work in the court systems, I have played a multitude of roles in this field for nearly a decade (I believe I am closing in on nine and a half years). One of the things that I love most about it: the people.

Everyone has a story, everyone has a reason to go from day to day, every one has biases and belief systems. Everyone is different. And the courtroom is a damn good place to hear some of these stories. One of the more recent cases I covered, a prospective juror flippantly mentioned in an off-hand way that she was shot during a robbery once. Now, that is not a story you can idly gloss over. She had been counting out her till when a man with a gun came charging in to the place where she worked- she gave him all that she had, but it wasn’t enough. He got mad and shot her in the shoulder. She told the whole story with a wry little chuckle and a knowing smile. There was also the man who crashed his private one-man plane into a river after trying to show off doing small areal stunts. Or the man who pulled out his own gun when a robber ran up and pulled open his car door in an attempted car-jacking. Then there was the woman who grabbed the red Pizza Hut sign off of the roof of a delivery truck and repeatedly hit an assailant with it when he tried to rob her friend. And who can forget the woman who managed to run over herself with her own car? Don’t worry- she is just fine, no lasting damage.

Every single person has a unique perspective in life. Every single individual has a story to tell, most of which are much stranger than any fiction you could possibly come up with. I love this aspect of my job because it is an open venue to hear these stories without the awkward daily social games we play with one another. As someone who tends to become rather anxious in new social situations, its rather refreshing to be able to skip the dance and go straight to the heart of the story.

So perhaps next time you get that summons in the mail, you wont let that first expletive-ridden thought control your outlook on the event. At the very least, you will probably be able to hear a few damn good stories while you wait. Inspiration comes from the most unlikely of places, if you are only willing to open yourself up to the possibilities.

Nano, Week One: The Update

We have survived the official first week of Nano, my friends! Whether you hit a home run or are whittling away one word at a time- we have all accomplished a lot so far on this adventure. I think we deserve a cookie…or two…or perhaps an entire cheese pizza, which is what I am about to eat because I mysteriously forget how to cook in November. (The best part: I’m not even cooking it, my fiancé’s best friend is. Shout out to him and his mad pizza wielding talents, this ‘starving artist’ thanks you. I’ll be sure to write you into my very first dedication. If I remember, because let’s face it, I forget everything).

This week was a record setting one for me, and I am so unbelievably proud. Although I know that I owe a lot of my success to a few lucky circumstances. For starters, I was fortunate enough to have a few days off from work at the beginning of November. When you couple those days with a very understanding fiancé who was kind enough to limit distractions as much as possible (constantly fighting the dog who’s sole purpose in life is to get me as far away from my laptop as possible). I was able to just sit and work, and since we were still in the enthralling beginnings, those words actually came easily for once. Now, I know a lot of that is because this is not my first rodeo with this story. This is essentially a complete re-draft of the project I worked on last Camp, which meant that I was already familiar with my characters, I already knew where the plot holes were and I’ve had several months to figure out how to pave them over. Even though the original content was all scrapped and a lot of the previously used plots were completely changed- I still know how I wanted the beginning of this story to play out. As of this weekend, I have hit the uncharted territory, and I know that my progress will begin to start creeping once again. The rest of the month wont even come close to my first week, but that’s okay. This was exactly the kind of week that I needed to have after the past two months I’ve spent floundering.

With one minor exception: too many late night writings led me to finally catching that cold I’ve steadily avoided for the past month. I felt it coming on the other day, but I opted to keep on pushing through and working in spite of it. As it turns out, my body is actively rebelling against my lack of balance, and is demanding a change. One that I am more than willing to give it. As of right now, I am ahead of schedule on my goal, and I can afford a bit of self-indulgence until I’m running on 100% again.

So cheers, my friends, I raise my glass of Emergen-C to you (because that’s what I have, sorry, no hot toddy’s from me today). May you have a happy and healthy month, and may the words flow easily from your pen (or keyboard). We can do this!

Current Stats:

Word Count: 47,572 out of 100,000

Percentage of Goal Complete: 47%

Current Mood on Project: Smiling in spite of the sniffles

Word Wars, Sprints and Crawls- Oh My!

I had never heard of word sprints, word wars or really any form of writing game before Nano. I was oblivious to the tricks of the word count game. And then one year, as I was roaming through the message boards willfully ignoring my project, I came across the section that contained these magical little creations. You seen, while Nano is one of the most exciting challenges that I have taken part in, there reaches a point (some years it strikes much sooner than others) when you find yourself with a 100-yard stare and Cheetos stuck in your hair. You are exhausted, your creative juices are tapped, and you cant help but wonder if you should be carted straight off to the nearest mental health institution for simply signing up for such an impossible task. It doesn’t matter how great your start was- you will hit this wall, you wont be wearing a helmet, and it will hurt. Bad.

When this happens- there is only one thing to do to keep your word count on point: play a couple of games. I don’t know who began these creative ploys to reignite that competitive spark, but they deserve to sit in the Iron Throne and control all of the realms- they are that good. Over the next few weeks I am going to be periodically posting some of my own creations, but, as none of those have been completed or tested, today I am going to share just a few of my favorite pre-existing challenges that have helped me through some rough writing patches. These are pretty versatile and can be used in just about any first draft you could be working on- blogs included.

Word Sprints and Word Wars: This is one is very simple, you pick the length of time you want to write for, set your timer and hit the ground running. It’s best if used while competing with another person using the same time limit. Although I tend to prefer a ‘time trials’ version where I compete against myself. Rewards are optional (personally, I strongly suggest Rollo’s if you beat your previous ‘high score,’ but I am very food driven.)
- Carrot and Stick: This can fall into the sprinting category, although technically you can use it anywhere. This is a very simple reward/punishment premise. You set a goal (for example, 500 words in 10 minutes), and then you have a reward or an punishment hanging over your head (perhaps if you meet your goal you get to watch an episode of your favorite show. If you don’t then you must do the dishes). This can also come into play with your daily word goals.
The Fifty-Headed Hydra: Legend has it that the creator of this challenge made the attempt and the only correctly spelled words on his paper after the carnage were ‘fifty’ ‘headed’ and ‘hydra.’ The challenge: to write 500 words in 5 minutes. Obviously spelling doesn’t count, don’t use the backspace, just start flying and correct things later. This is an insanely difficult challenge, but it’s fun when you are speeding so fast that you can’t get too far into your own head.
Word Crawls: This is my all-time favorite challenge, and it comes in many different forms. A word crawl is basically like an interactive writing game. There is a little bit of a plot, and as you read through it you are given random challenges to complete as you proceed. My favorites tend to revolve around fandoms, though they come in all shapes and sizes. Here is an example from one of my favorite Harry Potter crawls, creator unknown (I will gladly give full credit if I ever learn who made it). This one is a bit more involved than some, but it’s fun nonetheless, if you care to try.

Extreme Harry Potter Crawl: Year 1

Welcome to the Extreme Harry Potter Crawl: Year One! Depending on your writing speed, pick your blood status.

Muggleborn: Slower

Halfblood: Medium

Pureblood: Faster

Galleons can be used to purchase round skips. If you don’t want to do a specific challenge, spend a Galleon in order to move on to the next one.

—

You receive your Hogwarts letter by owl and are completely ecstatic to head out for your first year at Hogwarts. Sprint to 100 to let out your excitement and energy.

You arrive in Diagon Alley and your first stop is Gringotts, wizard bank. Write for ten minutes. The amount of words you write will determine how many Galleons are in your vault.

Muggleborns

Less than 100 words: 1 Galleon

100-200 words: 2 Galleons

More than 200 words: 3 Galleons

Halfbloods

Less than 150 words: 1 Galleon

150-250 words: 2 Galleons

More than 250 words: 3 Galleons

Purebloods

Less than 250 words: 1 Galleon

250-350 words: 2 Galleons

More than 350 words: 3 Galleons

You step into Ollivander’s wand shop. Roll a die and multiply your roll by 100. Sprint to that many words.

Finally, you’re done shopping! But before you leave, you decide that you want to purchase a pet. Write for 15 minutes as you search for the perfect animal for you. Pick one: owl, cat, toad.

After months of waiting, you’ve arrived on platform 9 ¾ and boarded the Hogwarts Express! Write to the nearest thousand as you settle into your seat and get ready for a long ride. If you need to write more than 500 words for this challenge and choose not to skip this round, take one Galleon.

Anything off the trolley, dear? Buy some sweets to help get you through the ride! Depending on your candy, find your challenge below!

Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans: Participate in a Fifty Headed Hydra as you frantically try to get the taste of vomit out of your mouth.

Chocolate Frog: Write for five minutes as you chase down the frog.

Licorice Wand: Sprint to 150 words

Pumpkin Pasties: Roll a die and multiply by 50. Write that many words.

If you take the lot and complete all the challenges, take one Galleon as well. If you have a toad, you may skip this round for free.

You arrive at the castle and wait in the hall with the rest of the first years. You notice a boy with messy black hair and glasses talking with a redheaded boy, a girl with bushy hair whispering to the people around her, and a boy with pale… well, everything. Write for ten minutesas you attempt to socialize with the people around you.

Professor McGonagall escorts you and your peers into the Great Hall for the Sorting. After the Sorting Hat sings its song and several students walk up timidly, your name is called, and you sit yourself down on the stool, timid and worried about what is about to happen. McGonagall places the hat on your head, and you are sorted into your House. Pick from the four Houses- Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin.

Gryffindor: Are you brave enough to write ten times your typing speed in 10 minutes?

Hufflepuff: Remain loyal to your word count and write steadily for one hour with no breaks.

Ravenclaw: Calculate how many words it will take for you to write to the nearest 1000.

Slytherin: You’re an ambitious one, aren’t you? Write 1000 words in 30 minutes!

The feast is delicious! Do the Three Digit Challenge as you eat at your House table and talk with those around you, as well as your House ghost. If you have an owl, you may skip this round for free.

You’ve settled into your dormitory quite quickly and nicely, and your first couple weeks of class go well. Write for an hour as you grow accustomed to your new classes and all of the magic you’re learning.

Muggleborns: If you write 750 words within the hour, take 2 Galleons.

Halfbloods: If you write 1,000 words within the hour, take 2 Galleons.

Purebloods: If you write 1,250 words within the hour, take 2 Galleons.

On your way to Potions, the messy haired boy who you now know is Harry Potter stops and asks you if you know where Professor Binns’ classroom is. Write 200 words in 10 minutes as you try to remember where his classroom is.

If you succeed: Harry hurries to Binns’ classroom and gives you a Galleon as a thank you for your help.

If you fail: You spend so much time trying to help Harry that you are both late to your next class. Write another 200 words as you apologize to Snape and try not to lose any points for your House.

You get locked out of your common room and Mrs. Norris finds you! You run with Harry, Ron, and Hermione to the third door corridor, and you find a giant three-headed dog! After making it back to your dormitory safely, roll a die, multiply your roll by 100, and write that many words as you try to calm down. If you have a cat, you can skip this round for free.

Troll! In the dungeon! You go with Harry and Ron to find Hermione and end up fighting the troll with them. Sprint to 500, and try not to get yourself killed.

You go down to Hagrid’s hut to have tea with him. When you try his treacle fudge, your teeth get stuck together! Write for twenty minutesas Hagrid tries to help and Madam Pomfrey magically loosens the cement-like effect the fudge had on your mouth.

Months pass, and it’s Christmas morning! You receive 3 Galleons from your parents, as well as a challenge from the Weasley twins. Write 1000 words in under an hour.

If you succeed: they give you a Galleon.

If you fail: they hit you with snowballs until you’re buried under heavy amounts of snow and make you write 250 more words.

During the Gryffindor vs Slytherin Quidditch game, you get incredibly excited. Roll a die. If even, you’re cheering for Gryffindor; if odd, you’re cheering for Slytherin. Word war for fifteen minutes with someone cheering for the opposite team. If you beat them, you win your bet, and you take 2 of their Galleons. But be careful- if you lose, you give them 2 of your Galleons. A bet’s a bet.

Harry tells you that he suspects that Snape is going after the Philosopher’s Stone and you decide to go with the trio to try to get to the Stone before Snape does. But before you can even go down the trapdoor, you need to make it past Fluffy. Write for ten minutes as you lull him to sleep sneak through the door.

Oh no- you and your friends are trapped in a patch of Devil’s Snare! Hermione tells you that you need to write 250 words in five minutesin order to safely escape.

If you succeed: You make it out of the deadly plant without a scratch and even spot a Galleon on the ground. What luck!

If you fail: Hermione has to set the plant on fire to get you out alive. She thinks very poorly of your skills now, so write another 250 words to impress her.

Harry catches a flying key and opens a large wooden door. Inside the next room is a giant wizard chess set. You and your friends need to replace some of the pieces and play the game. Ron takes the place of a knight, Harry becomes a bishop, and Hermione takes over for a rook. Pick a chess piece and complete the challenge below!

Pawn: You know you won’t be of much use to the game and think it would be wisest to be taken out early. Complete a Fifty Headed Hydraand take a fifteen minute writing break to recover from your injuries.

Rook: You take the place of the other rook and spend the game running across the board, strategically taking out important pieces of the other side’s team. Sprint to 200 and take a five minute writing break once the game is won.

Bishop: You take the place of the other bishop and sneakily take out pawns on the other team. Write for 20 minutes and take a five minute writing break once the game is won.

Knight: You take the place of the other knight and become the wild card of the match. Write 300 words in 15 minutes until you’re taken out by one of the other team’s rooks. Take a fifteen minute writing break to recover from your injuries.

Harry and Hermione move ahead into the next room when you stay with Ron. When Hermione comes back, sprint to 300 as you run to find Dumbledore and explain the situation to him.

The word gets out that Professor Quirrell is the one who wanted the stone, not Snape! Rumors also spread of your bravery in helping Harry, Ron, and Hermione as you four went through the challenges the professors set to protect the stone. Dumbledore awards you fifty points for your courage. Write for five minutes as your peers congratulate and admire you.

Summer vacation is here! Take an hour long writing break– you deserve it! In the meantime, post your words written during your first year at Hogwarts as well as how many Galleons you have left in your vault, and stay tuned for the Extreme Harry Potter Crawl: Year Two!

And there you have it, my friends- some more fun and games to keep you motivated throughout the month. There will be some original ‘games’ coming your way in the next few weeks, if you care to take a gander at them. I am also toying with the idea of a work-out version (ugh, the adult inside is beginning to feel guilty for these long hours in front of the laptop), and perhaps and adult drinking version- although I suspect that would not yield the best results.

Cheers my friends, and may the odds be ever in your favor this writing season.

Small Words Leave a Big Mark

People come into our lives and leave a lasting impression, sometimes with nothing more than their words. When I was a little girl I had a few teachers who innately recognized my love for story telling. I don’t think anything I wrote was particularly noteworthy, but they nurtured that love nonetheless, perhaps seeing the passion it kindled in my soul- they taught me how to ignite it and set myself on fire. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a writer, there was never any question about it. As I grew up, this driving love I carried within me became something that I closely guarded.

Sometimes my writing feels like a secret, a deep chasm I hold within my heart that only those deemed truly trustworthy will ever bear witness to. Most people in my life don’t know much about my writing, in fact, there are only two that know of the existence of this blog. This is something that I have always regretted; I don’t know why I have never been able to yell it from the rooftops like other people that I know, instead I keep my words hidden away like sacred objects. Perhaps sometimes it just feels too personal for a girl who has mastered the art of masks and social cues. Or perhaps it’s because at the end of the day, I can’t help but wonder if I’m actually any good. I have a fear that the words of my soul don’t resonate as poignantly as I had hoped. At the end of the day, I am still that terrified little girl standing on the edge of the playground hoping she wont be rejected.

And yet, I can boldly write out my ramblings and post them for all the strangers of the world to see. It’s a funny little dichotomy I have here.You see, on this little patch of internet, I can be unapologetically myself. And yet, that doesn’t keep the question at bay: am I really any good at this? I think it’s only human nature to desire validation, and it seems that the older we get, the harder that can be to find. As adults, we generally aren’t in the habit of handing out gold stars to one another. And yet, there are those rare few who can change your whole worldview with just a few simple words.

Tonight, I want to take the time to thank someone who doesn’t realize what an impact they have had on me or my work. She is an unbelievably supportive woman who reminded me why I keep coming back and stringing these silly words together at a time when I was questioning my value as a writer. The funny thing is- I haven’t even actually met her. We know one another through a Facebook writing group that we created during Camp Nano this past year.

All it took were a few kind words to give me the validation that I needed to keep pushing through, to keep improving. Now, I know that I wont ever stop writing, I don’t think I’m capable of giving up such a large part of who I am. My writing is my identity, it is my soul in physical form. It is my patronus, of sorts; it is every good and every bad thing that has ever happened to me. Writing is in my blood, it’s in my soul. But I was beginning to question whether my words were good enough to be sharing with the world, or if I should hide them away. I am, and always will be, a writer. But I did not trust in my identity as a possible author. I wasn’t sure anymore if my prose measured up to be tossed out here for anyone to stumble upon, perhaps they were safer hidden in my notebooks. She gave me the confidence that I so desperately needed. And she still does.

It is crucially important that, when we see something that inspires us, that makes us think, that makes us smile- we should let that person know. It just might make all the difference in the world to them, it might give them the motivation that they need to continue on and chase those dreams; to keep writing, to continue tossing their words out into the void of the internet in hopes that they will make it to someone who will understand them on a deeply fundamental level. As creators, we need to remember the value of nurturing those embers of passion in another. Because silence can be as damning as any negativity. It is human nature to assume the worst, and without someone reminding you that your work is valuable, it is so easy to think that no one cares, that you are falling on deaf ears, entertaining an empty room. It’s easy to let those demons of self-doubt crowd into your mind and convince you that perhaps you really don’t have what it takes. So be someone’s beacon today, nurture the passion, feed that flame. After all, we are all in this together.

So Cindy, this one is for you- don’t ever stop being the bright shining star I look forward to talking to, even if it’s just on a Facebook message board. And thank you, for saying the words that I didn’t realize I was desperately in need of hearing. On those days when I feel like I don’t have it in me, your kind words help propel me forward. Thank you for making me feel a little bit less alone on this journey. It has made all the difference in the world. You are a truly inspiring person, and for that, I can’t thank you enough.

Ready for Another Adventure: Nano, Day 1

I adore the beginnings of an adventure, whether it be the moment that plane takes off and you get that odd jolt in your stomach, or that first step when you are ready to jump from a diving board, or even the first few pages of a crisp new book providing you with promises of what will await your future. Oh yes, my friends, much like the first few months of a new relationship, there are the nervous jitters, the steady stream of pleasant surprises and new experiences that these endeavors will unveil to you. I love beginnings. There is nothing like the enthusiasm of a fresh start, a promise unmarred by past experiences, a tale whose ending is still deeply shrouded in mystery. As much as I love the comfort of the known, there is nothing as invigorating as the first step of a new adventure. It makes you feel alive.

Today was yet another beginning for me, one that I have been selfishly anticipating for the past year. My favorite writing challenge has commenced, Nanowrimo is back! I raise my mug of tea and send a ‘cheers’ out to all of my fellow participants; may we be the Sam to one another’s Frodo, the Sherlock to our Watsons, the Tock to each other’s Milo (okay, that was a Phantom Tollbooth reference that I suspect only a few of you may have understood). This is an adventure that we may walk together, though the battles are fought individually. It is the people, the support of those who follow this trail with us that make Nano what it truly is. I can take any month of the year and pledge to write 50,000 words, but it is the community that keeps me going this month, that gets me excited enough to do a midnight happy dance. So to all of you- thank you for joining, you make this whole adventure what it is. I hope this month goes as beautifully as you planned, and if any wrenches find their way into your work, well, I hope they lead you down some daring paths that will make your words all the richer for their struggle.

The beginning is always the hardest, we work so painstakingly at what we do that taking the first step can be daunting, and yet, much like riding a bike, it is that first push you need to get the wheels going that will be the most difficult. It’s a lot of pressure, trying to figure out the best way to introduce the ideas you’ve been carrying inside, percolating in your mind- how ever will you be able to do it justice with only a few sentences at your disposal to hook the unsuspecting reader? And yet, here we are anyway, already a day in and slowly finding our way through the challenges that we must face head on.

I was fortunate this year and managed to get a few days off from work, which gave me the rare opportunity to stay up late and jump straight into a midnight start. I am ashamed to admit that I almost didn’t make it, 11:00 became a bit touch and go for me thanks to a few good movies and yummy food that left me far too relaxed and content. But alas, I rallied, and when the clock struck 12, my fingers began to dance across the keyboard. Oh how I missed it! I’ve been working on editing projects for the past two months, with varying levels of success (okay, so October was a bit of a struggle and I really didn’t get much done on the editing front). I didn’t realize how much I had missed simply writing. There is a unrestrained fervor that comes with a first draft, a feverish excitement when you are simply collecting the sand to build castles with later. You get to keep your focus trained on the idea itself, not the presentation or the packaging that it comes in. I find this draft to be the most liberating, when you are physically unspooling the story from your soul so that you can create something beautiful. It is liberating, and damn, did I miss it. I feel whole again, as strange as that may sound. Even typing away on a silly piece of fiction makes me feel more authentic than I have in months. So I kept typing, stringing one word after another until my eyes couldn’t look at the screen anymore without crossing. And when I woke up, I went back and did it again.

I am so thrilled with how my project is going this time around. Let me start off by saying that this is not a fresh idea I am working on, so I have a bit of an unfair advantage in that department. This is a project I began last Camp, and it didn’t go as well as I had hoped. I decided to keep my characters and some very basic plot points, but everything was scrapped. I started fresh with the added benefit of knowing my characters a bit more intimately than someone working on a pristine, untouched piece. I must say though, the distance that I took from the project has made all the difference in the world. I have a clearer idea of how I want everything to play out. I know the direction I want to take and I have figured out how to tease out the important details in this story. I finally pushed through the wall that kept knocking me back down last time around. I came back ready to fight, and so far, I think I’m winning.

I must admit, today wasn’t completely issue free. You see, I wanted to sit down for the whole day and see what I could accomplish without distraction. Silly me forgot all about my writing time’s arch nemesis, which comes in the form of a bat-eared four-legged K-9 companion. Link, my German Shepherd, is a sweetheart, truly. He is my cuddle bug when I am sick, my partner in crime when I am in search of a midnight snack, the guard who keeps the cat out of the closet when I’m folding laundry, and my safety net when I’m home alone and can think of nothing except those scary movies I’ve watched. He is my caped crusader, my ride or die. He is also my biggest distraction in the best possible way. Today was no exception. You see, he would much rather be out in the world creature a real life adventure instead of laying at me feet as I pen an imagined one. He is my constant reminder that life must occasionally be lived outside of my head. Once he has decided that it’s break time, he starts sounding off like a broken alarm clock. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard a German Shepherd once they start feeling ‘chatty,’ but barking is no longer in their vocabulary. They start yipping like Dino from the Flintstones. On repeat. Over and over and over. Until they have broken you and you give in to all of their demands. I’m telling you, if he wanted to, this dog could take over the world. Luckily, I believe he would be a benevolent ruler, so we have that in our favor.

As it turns out, the walk that he forced me to take wound up being exactly what I needed to refresh and reenergize myself. Who knew that my four-legged friend knew more about what I needed that I did? not only that, it was a beautiful day outside. When we got back he was ready for a nap and I was able to cruise through another few thousand words unhindered.

Day one will be counted as a success, and I am going to ride this wave as long as it lasts, because I know when the tables turn, they will turn hard. And I really want to hit 100k this year.

Current stats:

Word count: 11,075

Out of: 100,000, which puts me at: 11% complete.

Words remaining: 88,925 (in 29 days)

Current mood on project: Excited and rolling with it while it lasts